Five Harsh Truths

Good morning, Dear Reader! It’s a glorious day in the Ozarks. I’m sure it’s gonna get a bit warmer, but at this very moment, Mother Nature is hanging in there with an excellent 70-something temp that I adore. (Sidebar: Is there any place on Earth where it is in the 70’s all year long? If so, I want that. Unless it’s New Jersey, nobody wants that.)

I’ve been thinking a lot about our 2022 theme of letting go, and while this post today isn’t so much about ‘letting go’ of something, it does fit with the ability to let go of old beliefs. In the book Warrior Goddess Training, I was prompted to write a list of “Things I Know For Sure” at the end of a chapter. That’s harder than it seems, folks. But I encourage you to do it, too.

As I made my list, I realized there were themes – or categories – that each of the listed items fell into, and here is where I share those five categories with you.

Ready? Good. Grab a drink. Settle in.

Here are the five harsh truths about life I wish I had known earlier:

1) “Meaning” is up to you. If you feel like life is meaningless, or you’re wandering around with a lack of purpose…may I be blunt? It’s your own damn fault. Non-profit agencies do so much good work and they need volunteers. You can plug in to just about anything you want. For me? I realized I was ‘too plugged in’ and that my true meaning was tied directly to being a good mother in this season of my life. So, no volunteering for me for twelve months. I’m on Total Mom Duty (well, as much as a working a mom can be).

2) Forget perfect. Nothing, not a home, partner, job, car, school, etc, is perfect. The ‘perfect’ (fill in the blank) doesn’t exist. Concentrate on finding the (fill in the blank) with most of the qualities you like/want and accept the rest. The only exception is if ‘the rest’ is dangerous or costly. Like – you love the house, but the roof is about to collapse. You mostly like everything about your partner…but they are a drug dealer. See my point? Everyone loads the dishwasher differently (and don’t even get me started on laundry), so you must let go of the control. Do the dishes get clean? I mean, did your fight over whether the forks go in tongs up or tongs down really matter in the grand scheme of things? Yeah, um, no. Pick your battles. Same with work, a vehicle, friends, etc. Nothing is perfect.

3) Adapt Realism As A Mindset. Okay, Optimists and Faux-Positivity people…I’m talking to you. True, there’s no need to be a pessimistic asshat all the time, but it’s also important to not bury your head and ignore facts. Life isn’t a movie, you do need to have a plan, and sometimes you don’t get what you want no matter how badly you want it. Adapt an artist’s ambition but an engineer’s mindset. In other words: Hope for the best, and plan for the worse.

4) Life is a game. And friends…no one is playing fair. Find the games you want to play, learn the rules, and find a way to succeed at the games you’ve selected. I’ve learned this about my day job. Some folks thought I was crazy to take a salary reduction to return to a place I really love to work. And I might not have returned if I hadn’t let “Not my circus, not my monkey” permeate every cell in my body this year. Now I can shut out the drama because that drama does not belong to me. I am not here to fix the entire organization’s issues. I’m here to do {this much} in the grand scheme of it, and that’s all I’m doing.

5) Everything ends. Okay, here’s me being morbid, but here’s the facts: Everyone you love will die. Every job you love is going to change. People you enjoy working with will eventually find other places to go. The house you love will no longer serve you at some point. Your vehicle will become a rust-bucket death trap, and you’ll turn it out to pasture. Your children will fall in love, move out of state, or worse, assert their independence so that it feels like your heart might break every day over the choices they are making. I’m sorry. That’s just the plain old truth. The sooner you get this, the sooner you can trust the process.

But, there is hope. All those things may seem all ‘doom and gloom’-ish, but honestly, I feel as though having that mindset keeps me from forming unhealthy attachments to the outcome of anything. And isn’t that what we all really want in life…to have no attachment to the outcome and simply trust the process?

Yes. I know. It’s not easy. Why do you think it’s taken me this many years to get it? I feel you, Boo.

With that, here’s your song. I love this song. I don’t know if it’s the lyrics or its melody that I like. But here’s what I do know: It’s a song about accepting that this relationship must end. Its lyrics imply that time has proven over and over that this is simply not meant to be, and goodbyes need to be said and accepted. (Want a ‘country version’?) Leave it to me to love a break-up song. I mean, my favorite Christmas song is, literally, a break-up song. Clearly, I need to drink some Positivity Punch and get out more.

So, there you have it, folks. My 978 words of wisdom for you. If you loved it, then please – help a gal out and share on all the socials. Until we meet again, have a wonderful weekend.