Good morning, dear Reader. I have to say, it is a lovely day here in the Ozarks. Weatherman Ron promises temps in the 60s today, Kids. I’m on Cloud 9. I won’t go into much detail, but have you ever just been in a place where you feel the stars are aligning just right? Yes? Then you understand.
I want to just jump right in here today. We are closing out our time together this month pondering how to let go of the illusion of control. In this post at the first of the year, I introduced the ten things we need to let go of in 2022. Today’s post follows up a few others, such as this one that kicked off February and this one a few days ago.
So, if you don’t mind, may I suggest that you grab a drink and settle in? I’m launching right into five more tools I use when I need to let go of the illusion of control. (Psffft…you can read about the first five here.) Ready? Let’s do this.
- Use affirmations. Affirmations are helpful, but I tend to be a bit pragmatic. I can’t will myself to believe something if it isn’t true at the moment, which is what I feel most affirmations attempt to do. So instead of saying, “Everything is perfect and right,” I affirm, “I trust that everything will happen as it is intended to.” I wouldn’t lie to you, so why would I lie to myself? Here are some great affirmations to get started: I honor and love myself. | There is no need to control. | I am thankful for the opportunities I have been given thus far. | Everything is working for my highest good with perfect timing. | I am supported and loved.
- Do esteemable acts. What are those? “Esteemable acts” are acts that help us gain self-esteem. For example, I am learning to use a firearm. The first time I picked up a 9 mm Glock, I fired one shot and placed it back down. I refused to shoot with it again that day (It was too loud. I was too jumpy). My partner encouraged me to use it again the next time we went. Turns out I’m better with it than I am a 380. You don’t have to be perfect at any esteemable act; just choose something that lends to your sense of accomplishment. Sometimes my ‘esteemable acts’ are simply making a delicious soup to share with others or cleaning out a closet. Maybe for you, those acts include washing the truck, reading to a child, or journaling.
- Reach out for support. Long before this pandemic hit, we were starting to isolate. I felt lonely months before any shutdowns occurred, and I’m an introvert. I, by nature, hate people. But, we are not on this planet to be or feel alone. The more we feel stuck in a vacuum, the more the need to control takes over. It goes back to that “fear breeds anxiety” thing I mentioned last week. Before that happens to you, reach out to someone you value and trust. Talk about how you’re feeling. Get a therapist. Or hey…here’s a thought: I’m here. I love free coffee.
- Remember that you are not alone. This ties into asking for support. Repeat after me: I am not alone. Trust and accept this and practice saying it to yourself. There are eight billion other people in the world. Trust me, someone out there loves you. Everything happens just the way it is intended. You might be surprised just how much in common you have with other people. I just connected via Ancestory with my 4th cousin in Norway. We share so much more than DNA – it’s almost freaky how similar we are. You have people out there, whether related or not, who enjoy doing the things you enjoy doing. I found great connections about spiritual topics and hiking groups on Meet Up. My fella and I knew each other in high school, so we connected with that piece of shared experience. Look for the good, and you will find it.
- Make a freedom list. (This is my favorite!) Freedom means surrendering. It means you are at peace with yourself and trust that everything is unfolding exactly how it is supposed to for you. So, what does freedom mean for you? Is it being free of debt? Because if you are free of debt, you aren’t so tied to that job you hate, right? Is it the freedom to just let others ‘be’? Because if you just let others ‘be’ then you are no longer responsible for the decisions they make – which in turn allows you to stop attempting to control every outcome (Hello fellow Co-Dependents…I see you.) So, create a freedom list and remember the need to control minimizes everything on this list.
Finally, I feel the need to remind you: I don’t have my shit 100% together. I’m just a blogger who journals publicly and enjoys feedback while sharing the results of many hours (and dollars) spent on therapy (Welcome to my Creepy Online Diary!). But I will say this: A lot of soul-searching and personal growth have gone into this work I’ve been sharing with you over the last two years. What once started (on Feb. 5, 2011!) as a blog about living the simple life has morphed into much more in terms of self-discovery.
This journey has unveiled that living in simplicity isn’t always about getting rid of material things (although that’s a good start) but more often about ridding yourself of limiting beliefs. In the animal world, there’s a shedding that takes place so new growth and/or freedom can occur. I invite you to start your own shedding process – whatever that looks like for you.
Nothing too terribly funny or earth-shattering today, dear Reader, but I can’t close out without your song. Here you go. Surrender to whatever weather Mother Nature has provided to you. Enjoy your day. Take a nap. Go for a hike. Read a book. Paint a picture. Watch a dirty movie. Whatever you do, don’t apologize for it (Unless you are mean to your kid. Then, yes, Asshole. Apologize for that).
Oh, and, if you liked this post and thought others might, too, I shamelessly ask you to share on social media. Please and thank you.