Good morning, Peeps! Yesterday morning, I took a three-mile walk in Northwest Arkansas with two extraordinary people at Coler trail. Both are in their seventies and dare I say, they kicked my ass. (I. Must. Walk. More.) Temps were close to 80, and I was happy. The outdoors. Good people. Christmas Day. Dogs to pet. A great week behind me. It was truly wonderful.
The two-hour drive home offered some much-needed quiet time, and admittedly, I’ve been thinking about you today, Dear Reader. I’ve been piecing together what I wanted to share and how to share it without making anyone mad. I wanted to write about being brave and vulnerable and owning all of that 100 percent! The new year is upon us, and life is passing each of us by. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to take some risks. I’m not talking about blind stupidity…but I am talking about letting some walls crumble – or, at minimum, cautiously removing a brick or two. Do you want 2022 to be better or not? I certainly do. Then we need to put ourselves out there.
I get it. It’s scary. I had pretty much decided no one would ever see me vulnerable again. I mean, if you are weak, you get hurt, right? That’s true. But who decided that being vulnerable means being weak? As I said last week, a life without risk is an unlived life. Recently I’ve realized – despite my desire to stay calm and mysterious – that I’m the one who loses out on life’s pleasures when I lock myself away and stay behind those proverbial, metaphoric walls.
“So, what started this line of thinking?”
Well, glad you asked. Grab a drink and settle in. This story begins with a gun.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you might remember that two Christmases ago, I was given a gift certificate for a shooting range. That led to an introductory handgun safety class and some time at the range, where I learned I was a decent shot for never having held a weapon. Fast forward about two years to last weekend.
I was invited to another range. I had a good instructor. He was kind. He was patient. He stood close by. He whispered instruction and encouragement in my ear and never made me feel inferior despite the fact that I wasn’t very sure of myself and sliced my thumb open on the first shot. Because of his patience and kindness, I felt empowered, strong, vulnerable, and safe all at the same time.
Read that again.
I felt both vulnerable and safe at the same time.
It’s possible, folks, to let down your guard and experience this. Not all humans are assholes. I know, right? In the past, feeling both vulnerable and safe for me was akin to mixing oil and water – or more accurately…gasoline and a match. In other words, I think I’ll pass. Never let them see you sweat, right?
But here’s the deal. It’s not brave if you aren’t scared. And I was scared that day – of many things – and I decided to be brave despite all of it. So, grab that drink, Loves. If it’s permission to be brave you need, I’m passing that shit out like it’s cheap candy at a small-town Christmas parade.
The new year is upon us, and you can live as you’ve always lived if you want to. But take this in: If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. Want to be braver? So do I. So here’s how we are going to embrace bravery in 2022 (and, hopefully, beyond…):
1) Stop Listening To Nay-Sayers. There will always be someone around to tell you it can’t be done. There’s always an asshole ready to remind you of your past mistakes. People who never take risks are the first to say you’re being foolish. Respectfully…fuck ’em. I know this is easier said than done. But if you are going to be the captain of your ship, you need to realize that both the Titanic and the Santa Maria captains were brave. The outcomes were completely different between the two, obviously, and well…you have to prepare that this may be the case for you, as well. Do it anyway.
2) Don’t be afraid to fail. If you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying. Many people in our history learned numerous times how not to do something – they never considered themselves a failure (think Thomas Edison and the lightbulb.) I have started three businesses in my life. One was a huge success, and the other two paid the bills…barely. I never considered myself a failure with the latter two. I simply learned better ways to do it next time I’m brave enough to jump into another business venture.
3) Always (always) trust your gut. Many don’t know how to do this. Most of us listen to the voices of others and never learn to take direction from our Higher Self. Many ignore the signs, and many live lesser lives because of it. You must be willing to stop listening to those you love sometimes and start getting quiet enough to hear your own inner voice. This isn’t easy. In fact, in a world where people are full of opinions and ‘best intentions,’ this is really one of the most challenging steps.
4) Be willing to lose (or give up) everything to start over. Back in 2004, my (then) husband prayed for change. He felt strongly that something drastic needed to happen to be happy. Within 24 months, he lost his job, home, and later, the marriage ended. But yet, if you met him today, you’d realize he is the happiest he has ever been in his entire life. (And I’m delighted for him). Sometimes you have to lose significantly to really win. Blogger Leo Babauta calls this ‘burning the farm‘. So, strike that match. Go on. I triple-dog-dare ya.
As we close for the day, I invite you to make a list of all the things you’ve wanted to try or do but were either too afraid or too worried about what others would think. I did, and I posted it here. Meditate on all the reasons your fear has been holding you back and imagine what life would be like for you if you took steps to break down the walls and be braver. Then release those fears to the Universe and go live your life.
As usual, here’s a song for you today. I’m also leaving you with some questions:
Are you willing to be weird? Are you ready to step out onto that range and shoot for what you want? What are you doing to make sure you get the life you were destined to have? Drop a line in the comments to tell me how you have been brave…because if you have done it once, you can do it again!
I can’t thank you enough for sharing this on social media. I am delighted when I have a glass of wine with people I just met and they say “I love your blog”. I am so very grateful to you, Dear Reader, for sharing with your friends. May you be blessed all year with prosperity, abundance, and – yes – great love.