Good morning, Dear Reader! It’s a dark and stormy day here in the Ozarks. Yep. My favorite. The minute I heard the first clap of thunder, I was inspired. We should probably dive right in, then, huh?
Sorry if you miss the chit-chat. I’m trying to keep my posts to 1000-1200 words, and besides, I just figured you’ve got things to do.
So, grab a drink. Settle in. Let’s talk about personal connection (again), shall we?
Last night I took my son over to the new school he’ll attend this summer, and let’s just summarize it by saying this: We were both a little anxious, sad, and weepy. His old elementary school was good for him, and all the teachers/staff knew him. I was also pretty entrenched in the culture of that school, so, needless to say, we were both a bit apprehensive. I grew up in the same school (K-12) and never had to experience switching schools. I felt so bad as a tear fell from his little cheek while he shared he would miss all his friends. I, too, had friends at that school, so I get it. We were both trying to be brave, but I could sense just how much stress both of us were under, and it was un-fucking-comfortable. I, along with him, was feeling the desire to connect but also fighting the urge to isolate and process these emotions alone.
It got me thinking about so many things and aspects of life. Even pre-pandemic, I felt we were losing the ability to form genuine and meaningful connections. Still, I don’t trust many people these days. Frankly, if we are honest with each other, not many are trustworthy to begin with. So it is difficult to form connections when one is so suspicious.
So, I’m taking you back a few years into my lessons from my Yin Yoga class (which I also miss). According to the Eight Limbs of Yoga, this lesson or practice called Brahmacharya is where we find ourselves this morning.
Brahmacharya is about the practice of moderation. Doing anything to excess in our lives—food, sex, work—typically leads to imbalances, leaving us with low energy and high frustration. Brahmacharya can help us find balance if we let it. Half the battle is knowing where we’re going into excess and why we’re doing it. Then we can make changes.
There are some very significant ways that our lack of connection leads to overconsumption and minimizes moderation. Here are some ways we can all practice Brahmacharya to live a more moderate lifestyle while combating fear and boredom:
1) Balance the sloth and work-a-holic in you. Okay, typically, I’m not prone to laziness – ask anyone who knows me. I work hard and stay really busy. I’m not much of a television consumer, although I can binge-watch with the best of them. I love to read and write, but honestly…I don’t rest enough. However, for the last two nights, I have crashed hard. This is a good indication that emotionally and physically, I’ve been way too keyed up.
2) Living inside my telephone. In his song If It Takes A Lifetime, Jason Isbell croons about fighting the urge to live inside his telephone, and I have to say, “Yes. This is an issue.” Last night I ‘gave myself permission’ to doomscroll for five minutes before turning to a guided meditation and trying to tamp down the anxiety of the day. But, for all the apps designed to ‘connect us’ I’ve learned I just don’t like any of them. The revelation – and I’m checking my call log as we speak – is that even though I pick the damn thing up to see if I have any messages about 400 times a day (and trust me, there are messages), my actual ‘recent calls’ list indicates that I haven’t had a call lasting over two minutes in two weeks. And if I have, it’s because I initiated it. But, sure as shit, when faced with going out or staying in…I will choose to stay in 98% of the time.
3) Overthinking. Okay, admittedly, I haven’t mastered finding moderation in this. Hell, I’m convinced that if you look ‘overthinking’ up in the dictionary, there’s just a photo of me – no definition. I’m an INTJ and a Virgo. I was born to overthink things. I’d like to say this is easy to stop doing – but it isn’t – so I’m asking you, Dear Reader, for some tips and tricks. How do you get out of the overthinking mode? I’m a thinker by nature, and I actually like this about myself. I am proud of my ability to think through a problem and come out the other side of it with several solutions. But, at times, overthinking can drive me temporarily mad, so I have to learn to practice Brahmacharya, especially on this one.
I will also leave you with some questions, and I’d love to hear from you.
How has this pandemic created imbalances in your life?
Are there areas in your life where you can practice Brahmacharya and find moderation?
Can you digitally disconnect your life for a bit? How would you make a shift to connect with others if you weren’t simply able to scroll through your Facebook feed?