The Final Essay

Good morning, Dear Reader! I’m taking a break from Flash Fiction Friday and posting a bit early. My peeps and I are headed off to see Ashley McBryde in concert, and I wanted to ensure I did two things. But before I do that…I want to give you two bonus songs which are my favorite Ashley McBryde songs: One and Two. You’re welcome.

So, back to today’s post. First, I’m fulfilling an assignment. Secondly, I’m informing you of the changes the last few months as has brought to fruition.

So, the assignment. I’ve been working with a Life Coach now for about a year. I completed the lessons, and I was given an assignment at the end of the series. Since I share with you, dear Reader, most of the crap that swirls in my head anyway, I thought, “Might as well share this with the entire world.” So here we are today, summing up the last ten months of my life. The final question?

“What changes do I notice in how I see and experience myself and the world”?

Grab a drink. Settle in. In fact, make it a double.

This biggest take-a-way from this entire process was a lesson that focused on accepting myself and all the decisions I’ve made along the way in this beautiful life. The summation, for me, at the end of this process is this one sentence:

“I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time.”

This one mantra (that’s what I’m calling it) led to so much self-growth, internal power, abundance, and freedom. When I think back to the amount of self-destructive blame I induced on my person this time last year…I don’t even recognize that woman.

This one mantra alone permitted me to say, “Yes. That didn’t turn out exactly as planned, but look at all the things I learned in the process…” It helped me to stop looking at situations as mistakes and instead think of them as growth opportunities.

This one mantra alone gave me the courage to release myself from Karmic relationships, find love again, say ‘no’ to so many things, and forgive myself for putting up with the same old bullshit day after day from people who – and I quote – “…just have your best interest in mind.”

This one mantra alone restored a relationship with my ex-husband (Note: We are friendly. We are not friends. Big difference.). It gave me enough courage to say no to volunteer positions. It reduced the amount of stress I had when changing jobs. And the most significant thing of all…

It allows me to stand up for myself when others try to bully me or remind me of what didn’t quite work out in the past. I was able to tell someone just this week, “I’m only going to say this one time to you: I made the best decision I could then with the information I had at the time. Do not throw this shit in my face again.”

Anyway.

Today’s post is my final essay – in the form of my Creepy Online Diary. I hope that you release yourself from self-judgment and coulda, shoulda, wouldas. Stop getting in the ring with your own thoughts about the past. You made the best decision you could at the time…with the information you had then. You can’t judge that situation based on the information you have now. You’re not Claire from Outlander. You didn’t have the luxury of knowledge from the future.

So.

Get up. Dust off. Move on.

You can now make a better-informed decision the next time a similar situation arises without beating yourself up over the past. I can tell you this for sure…there’s a shit-ton of stuff I won’t volunteer to do and a hell of a lot of people I won’t spend as much time with, so that’s a win, right?

I wish this for you, too. I wish for your empowerment to take hold. I wish for you to forgive yourself for past mistakes and decisions. I wish you to grow in peace and prosperity based on new information and the ability to circumvent the bullshit. I wish for you…love. For love is the greatest of all.

Song? Of course! I’m headed south to see this ‘local gal,’ and this is one of hers. I feel it fits for today. I had a journalism teacher in high school who told me I was a terrible writer. You know who you are and well…Bitch, where’s your blog? Enjoy!

2 thoughts on “The Final Essay

  1. You have not only taken this journey to heights that are incredible for you, but you have inspired the rest of us to do the same and I am proud to call you my friend. Eric Church calls Ashley McBride a whiskey drinkin bad ass and that describes you too!

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