Good evening, dear Reader. The weather is excellent here in the Ozarks, and I’m happy to report that, last night, I slept from 9 pm – 6 am with no sleeping aids (Tylenol PM, Benadryl, etc.) whatsoever! And I slept through the entire night. I wish I could tell you what prompted all that, but I can’t. I’m simply going to float in the river of gratefulness for whatever it was.
I suppose I could get all philosophical about it if I wanted to. Want to indulge me a bit?
I’m taking a creative writing class, and we are currently studying the Hero’s Journey. Since picking my writing back up in 2019, it occurred to me that I have been on my own hero’s journey. As I pack up my things in preparation to sell my home, I realize that I am right back to where we started in 2011 – seeking a calmer lifestyle with few possessions in a space where I can protect my sanity from the influence of others less evolved.
That sounded arrogant, didn’t it? To label someone less evolved? But I don’t mean it to sound that way. I just meant to say that some folks are married to a level of drama that I no longer want/need to attach myself to in order to feel significant. If this is the case, I guess they are not less evolved…but that I’ve developed out of the parameters of what makes them feel important. And what makes them feel important?
More specifically, control over me. Which they no longer have. We’ve visited about control many times over the past few posts, and I don’t think I can ramble on about it much more. This is to say, “We got the memo” and are moving on. So, to where are we moving?
Good question. Not to something…but rather through something.
We are moving through this list from January and have landed on toxic relationships – or, more importantly, letting go of such things. So, friends, grab a drink. Settle in. Let’s first examine why we should let go of such relationships. Later in the month, we can cover how to let go, shall we?
First, you create space when you let go of a toxic relationship. In other words, you make room for meaningful connections to enter. Way too many people cling to unhealthy relationships because they think that without the other person, they will be nothing and that their lives will be worthless. I did this several times. I liken it to physical clutter: If your garage is so full of crap that you can’t park your car in there, you are typically less inclined to purchase a nicer vehicle. You may, subconsciously, even think you don’t deserve a nicer vehicle. It isn’t until you start cleaning out the garage of clutter and toxic mess that you even consider the idea of buying something a bit nicer to keep safe in the shelter of the garage. Relationships are like that. So, pick the Mercedes Benz of connections.
Secondly, oftentimes, bad company corrupts. Ever had an apple and left it on the counter? It might spoil in, I don’t know, two or three weeks. But put that apple in with one that is already starting to spoil, and both of them are goners in less than a week. I see this a lot in work relationships, so I tend to vent to someone outside my organization as much as possible and detach myself from anyone or group that constantly bitches and moans. That behavior doesn’t solve anything, but it can certainly clear a department in an office pretty quickly. I’ve heard it said that you are the total sum of the five people with whom you share the most time. Make sure those five people support your dreams and lift you when called to do so. You were put here to do good things. And the more you cling to toxic people, the more difficult it is to tap into your own Divine nature. It’s better to be alone than with others who spoil everything they touch. The longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the more likely you’ll become someone you don’t recognize.
Lastly, it will always get worse before it gets better. Toxic relationships start off feeling a bit ‘off’ and become abusive. Always. And if you think that abuse is only physical, you are entirely wrong. An emotionally and/or verbally abusive relationship has been known to be as damaging – if not more destructive – than a physical one. And eventually, statistics support that verbally abusive relationships result in physical abuse more often than not. So, sometimes it is better to walk away with nothing than to stay in these relationships. I’ve done this more than once in the past year – walked away with very little – but it is worth it. I guarantee it is. After all…do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? I guess you want to be happy since you are still reading.
There are so many more reasons why leaving a toxic relationship is worth it, but I can’t cover them all. If you are still curious, just Google it. Bottom line: It’s for your own good. And you, Love, are worth it.
On that note, here’s your song. Stay tuned for more on this topic. Until then, feel free to share this on social media and with those you love.