It’s 9 am on a Sunday here in the Ozarks, and I’m still in my pajamas and cuddled into my bed. The holiday weekend has been glorious. Some are complaining about being unable to see family over Thanksgiving due to the pandemic. I get that, but I am secretly hoping I never have to go back to a holiday filled with chaos and unmanageable expectations.
I am taking Monday off, too, so I’m indulging in some self-care over these five days. Some much-needed self-care, for sure. Mostly, I’ve napped. And for those of you who don’t really know me, I don’t rest much. This has been an unexpected request from my body, and I’ve listened to my inner-self. In fact, I’ve napped every day so far since Thursday. Can’t wait to see what today brings. The cat is already nestled next to me, and if I didn’t have company coming over, I’d just stay right here in bed. I’m not prone to laziness, so this slothful nature of mine is definitely my body and soul telling me to chill the fuck out. My child is with his father this holiday weekend, and my inner-self is saying, “Take advantage of this time.” So…I have.
We are continuing our series together on Self-Love, and, yep, – you guessed it – self-care is next on the docket. I’m a huge proponent of self-care, having neglected myself for most of my life but definitely over the last nine or ten years. The thing about self-care is that it doesn’t have to be complicated or financially indulgent to be helpful.
When most of us think of self-care, we think of massages, facials, beachy vacations, and weekend retreats at high-end resorts. Yes, those can be forms of self-care – I get massages and facials regularly – but self-care doesn’t have to be economically draining or time-consuming.
My favorite form of self-care is coming into my own bedroom with a glass of Barefoot Chardonnay (see…I told you it didn’t have to be expensive), picking up a book, and reading for as long as I can before I can no longer keep my eyes open. My next favorite is the Gentle Yin Yoga class I participate in each Thursday night. It’s yoga by candlelight; it’s relaxing and also very spiritual for me. I find I am closest to my Higher Power when I am on that mat breathing in and breathing out than I am any other time during the week.
Of course, all the ideas mentioned above and activities can be forms of self-care: massage, facials, vacations, reading quietly, but there are so many other forms of self-care. As a single mom, it took me a very long time to realize that if I didn’t fill my cup first, I couldn’t pour into my child the love and attention he so deserves.
So, what really is self-care if it doesn’t have to be expensive or indulgent to make a difference?
It’s activities we do to keep us as our best selves. Practicing self-care is an action-oriented way that we can show ourselves self-love. … It means loving all aspects of yourself by accepting your flaws, weaknesses, the things you don’t always like, and holding high standards for your own well-being and happiness.
What is self-care to one may not be self-care to another. My friend, Machell, is one of the best seamstresses in the county, and she designs and sews the most beautiful quilts. She engages in self-care each time she turns on a football game and begins to bind together pieces of colorful fabric so that they can live on in the form of comfort and warmth. For me, making a quilt would be self-torture, not at all fun in the least bit. Definitely not a way I’d express self-love. But, I find drinking a cup of black coffee while a cat is nestled near me as I write this blog to be quite delightful – and some of you may disagree with me. And so, proving my point of what is self-care to one may not be self-care to another.
You can type in ‘What is self-care?” into a Google search bar and get all kinds of ideas on how to engage in self-care, so I won’t bore you with a list of ideas. (In fact, here’s a good one for you!) What I will tell you is how essential it is to show kindness and gratitude to yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made…even if you don’t feel like it sometimes. It isn’t easy in this ‘season of COVID’ to find joy in the simplest acts, but I implore you to do your best to try. I think it is essential to recognize your mental and physical state when considering ways to practice self-care. For example, if you are physically and mentally exhausted, then forcing yourself to go for a run or a hike in the name of ‘self-care’ may not be the best route for you. Maybe a nap is better. Or perhaps merely sitting by a fire counting your blessings would refill your soul in a much better manner.
So, I’m curious – what are your ideas for self-care? What is the most expensive ‘self-care’ experience you’ve had and the least expensive? Do you regularly engage in self-care, and if so, what brings your heart joy?
Here’s your song for the week ahead. I would love to hear from you, so drop me a line. I’m always up for ideas to love myself.